You can gain the confidence you lack with affirmations. If you use them properly you can discover how bad you sabotage yourself, because you will finally hear what your Censor says to you (more about this archetype HERE). But the best part of this method is that it helps you change effectively all your negative thoughts. With a little practice you can start being creative and truly happy.
I used to think that affirmations were, well, bullshit. Now I know that they're not. I just didn't do them right. I thought afirmations were like a magnet to make things happen. So I repeated what I wanted and nothing happend. I was missing the whole point, that was, that affirmations MAKE US THE MAGNET, because they help you dialogue with your inner yous and be convinced that you actually can do things that your Censor thinks are impossible.
Let's see how do proper affirmations work. Just follow the steps.
Step#1 Write the affirmation
You can write whatever you want. I share with you some of mine, feel free to use them:
Step #2 Wait and listen to your Censor
You know that little voice inside your head that screams while you write things like the ones above: "nonsense, you are not a writer! This bullshit doesn't work. You're just ridiculous!!!" That same one, you got it. Go quickly to the next step.
Step #3 Write down all your Censor says
Don't skip this step. You need to know what your Censor has to say abou your goals. It can be really painful, but once you start listening, you'll understand why you don't grow. Go on! Be brave and write down what you think about being a bright writer, or a great researcher. You'll be amazed by how mean and harsh your thoughts are.
Step #4 Fight back
How? Easy: just turn the mean words into positive sentences. I'll give you some examples:
Be careful not to use negative sentences. For instance, your Censor might say You are a joke. Your answer should never be I'm NOT a joke. Something like I'M A WINNER will be more effective.
Why hating your Censor is not the answer and right affirmations are
This is VERY IMPORTANT, and nobody will tell you what I'm about to say. Many books about creativity (such as The Artist's Way, Your inner critic is a big jerk), tend to focus on nurturing and pampering your inner Artist and your Procrastinator, and shutting off the Censor and the Perfectionist. Be really careful: this approach DOESN'T WORK. In the long term it only makes things worse.
The reason why hate is not the answer is that none of the archetypes is going anywhere. ALL LIVE WITHIN YOU. It is better to understand and then LOVE. Deeply. Love them all, with all your soul. I'll try to explain what I've discovered so far about why do they do what they do.
I have given a lot of thought to why my Censor says those cruel things to me. And I've come to the conclusion that he is just making his work, or what he thinks is part of his job inside my head. I like to think of him as a part of me that I have inherited from my prehistoric ancestors.
The little voice of the Censor is just trying to keep me safe and as far as possible from trouble.
So, his intentions are good. Like a good parent who doesn't want you to grow up because he is scared of the many risks that always surround us.
Once you understand that he is only doing the best he can, things start to change, because the part that hurts you is how your Censor tries to do his job: increasing your fear and decreasing your selfrespect, thus keeping you from growing.
Write your affirmations every day
If you want a more supportive Censor you need to work with him every day. Affirmations are a great way to gain a sense of safety. When you keep on listening, and answering with soothing and positive sentences things start changing. The change can be amazing. I used this method for 12 weeks and I have started my own business and designed the webpage you are reading right now.
I still feel scared, but now I know how this work. I just explore where it comes from and with lots of love and patience I tell my self that I'm good enough to live the life I deserve.
Before you go
Let's do this together! Share this post and leave your commentary to see what your Censor has to say!
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